My Breakdown

I have lost the will to live,

I have nothing more to give.

Feel stoic in my veins,

I cannot differentiate laughter from pain.

 My head feels like a ton,

Makes me weak when I feel I have nowhere to run.

Tears roll down my face,

I feel the need to forfeit the race.

There is nothing left in me,

No pain, sorrow or even greed.

I hate the feeling I get now and then,

Makes me want to loathe myself over and over again.

I hear voices in my head,

They trouble me throughout the day and in bed.

I see things I don’t want to dream,

It feels so real; it makes me want to scream.

So much has changed since then,

I wish I had another chance to start over again.

It’s all lost now, everything,

But I feel no pain or anything.

It hurts to look back and grieve,

I feel I have no one left to believe.

Every second feels like a million piercing daggers,

I hate it when I don’t even feel any anger.

I am holding on to what I believe,

I will always be true to myself no matter what I achieve.

Its times like these I feel down,

But I know that if I keep swimming, I will never drown.

-Anirudh